Channel Surfing the Thoughts of a Piggy

When you google "Caitlin Burke and Daniel Bradley" (and vice versa), this is the first hit (see photo to the right)

I oddly feel rather attached to this picture. I feel like I can identify with it... whatever that means. Anyways...

So I've been thinking about what I want to say in this post for a while and yet I can't quite come up with what I want to say.

I want to talk about how the MegaBus both stole time from me & Daniel and yet gave us the gift of 12 hours all in one day.

I want to talk about how I become a blubbering mess every time I even think about Daniel leaving and as sucky as it is, it's the greatest, most encouraging thing ever.

I want to talk about how long distance relationships are hard and how all of the dynamics change and yet there's so much potential with what we've got going on, it's crazy.

I want to talk about how I always have all of these great things to tell Daniel every time I call him and yet when I hear his voice, I forget all of them. For those few minutes we're on the phone, we're as with one another as we can be and all I can do is relish in how great it feels.

I want to talk about how this weekend is crazy but it's all leading up to the light at the end of the tunnel and the most anticipated vacation I've ever had.

I want to talk about how touched I was by Daniel telling me that, after meeting my girls at Farragut, he didn't feel cool because of himself but because he got to be the lucky one dating me.

I want to talk about how awesome it is that Daniel and I both have a huge passion for the arts and that we can bond so perfectly over that passion.

I want to talk about how in 39 days I won't have to deal with roaches any more (which doesn't relate to Daniel in the slightest but it's the highlight of the summer for me).

I want to talk about so many things and yet there just isn't enough room on the internet for all I want to say. I'm so happy with Daniel that it should probably be a sin. Don't get me wrong, it's been tough with the whole Nashville/Knoxville thing but I have faith that there's a greater plan brewing in all of this (just like his beer!). I know this next year is going to test us more than we could ever imagine and bring us to the edge of our limits, but, as my girl Kelly would say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Boy, am I going to have some great relationship biceps at the end of this year :(=))

A Boyfriend Named Propitiation

What a weekend.

It all started off with me having a poop-load of school work to do (you know, research, paper writing, exam studying, etc.) so naturally Daniel and I hung out at Einstein's and Starbucks... a lot.

Then, I had to house sit for my roommate Tia about 25 minutes away. As if that wasn't enough, her cat died while we were there. Side note, as a pet owning virgin, I was ever thankful that Daniel was there to help deal with the situation. There's nothing more sad then seeing a stroke-ridden cat struggle to breath and watching it die over the course of a few days.

To top it all off, it had been 2 weeks since we had seen each other, a "Daitlin" first (yeah, that's our name, be jealous). It was the longest we had gone without seeing one another and boy was it rough.

All that to say that seeing Daniel this weekend was the highlight of everything.

Today in church, Greg the Pastor talked about the Gospel. He said that it's impossible to hear the Gospel and not have it impact and change you for the better. If you haven't been changed, you haven't accepted it, and that's the cold hard truth. It's impossible to hear that God sent his only son to live and be crucified on this planet only to grace us with the forgiveness of sin. So because of everything that happened this weekend (dead cat, quality time, church service) it got me thinking.

I am one of the most undeserving people I can think of. There's nothing that says I should have the wonderful (albeit roach-ridden) house that I have, the friends that I do, or the gifts that I have been given. But most of all, I don't deserve to have the wonderful boyfriend that I do.

Yes, all girls deserve to be treated right by their male counterparts, but if we're keeping tallys then I deserve someone who eats more cake and coke than necessary, whines about the littlest of things when the word stress is even mentioned and is never able to drive to see me because he's always too busy. And yet, here I am, sitting next to the most wonderful guy a girl could ask for.

There's no reason why I should be graced with such a wonderful gift in my life. None, nada, zilch. And day in and day out I never cease to be amazed by Daniel. From knowing about Speculose (and all that goes wonderfully with it-hint hint, Oreos) to killer possibly-African beetle species that have infiltrated the US via Nashville to drawing beer schematics, he knows everything, including how to make me feel like the most special person in the world.

Every now and then, Daniel will sort of let his guard down and just say whatever is on his mind. Truly, it's one of my features about it. Often times, in his bouts of true honesty, he'll say something about how beautiful I am and how much he cares for me. It's a perfect window into his heart and I can see just how much he cares about me.

And no matter how many times I mess up or fail, he's always there to catch me. One might say he's my catcher in the rye (although I'm not 100% sure that metaphor works. Sorry, math major here). He's saved me from some of my worst times and he's always willing to help me back on my feet.

I don't deserve you, Daniel, and yet here you are, spending hours in some sort of moving vehicle just to be sitting next to me while I work furiously on my paper. I don't know how I was lucky enough to catch your eye but you can bet that cute little booty of yours that I won't be letting go... ever.

Daniel Bradley-Bomb Squad

I want you to stop for a second and go back to your fondest high school days. If your childhood was anything like mine (which it probably wasn't, let's be real), then high school was plagued with everyone and their brother wearing brown shirts with yellow toasters on them, or other random things of the like. It sounds random, because it was. But that's Relient K for you.

One of my favorite of their songs is called Mood Rings. Check it out:




Recently, I've been rather... "moody" one might say. For the past few months I've been trying to remedy this with various things. Yet no matter what I do life keeps happening (it's pesky like that) and things keep setting me off.

All the while, through my hardest, most emotional and moody times, Daniel has been there for me. I honestly believe he deserves an award. Really, Daniel has the hardest job because he's the only person that I get to talk to every day and who (by some sort of relationship default) gets to hear all about my life-the good, bad and the ugly.

So while my life has been plagued with crazy mood swings, bouts of utter sadness and extreme longing for the one constant source of happiness (hint hint-it's you Daniel), he's had to fend out of the beast that comes out every few days. Not only has he kept his cool, but he usually finds a way to calm me which is no easy task because I can say that I'm not the easiest person when I'm being difficult. Yet throughout all of this, Daniel always wants to talk to me, always wants to see me, and always makes sure that I know how much he truly cares about it.

Overall, I truly don't deserve someone who is willing to put up with all that I've put him through (no matter how unintentional it all is) and yet here he is, coming in a few days, just to hang out with me. I couldn't ask for a better, more loving person in my life and I truly am the luckiest girl in the world. I mean, I have a great relationship that's constantly improving with the best man a girl could ask for (and he looks great without a shirt on ;(=)) )

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder #butidrathergrowtogetherinthesametimezone

So this week has been interesting. Not only have I been fully submerged in the realm of graduate academia (bleh) and started working with the Farragut HS Dance Team, but it's the first time that I've had to wait over a week to see Daniel. And let me tell you... it sucks balls. We both knew this day would come when we wouldn't have the luxury of seeing each other every weekend but that didn't mean it would be an easy transition.

And this is just the beginning.

From here, we're only going to get busier and have even less time to devote to one another. Heck, this week alone our schedules have been so disjoint that we have to take advantage of every 20 minute interval that we both have to talk.

And I miss Daniel like crazy.

But that's the negative side of the situation.

Taking a page out of Daniel's book, I need to stay positive about all of this. Yeah, it's hard as crap, but I'm willing to do it. So what's the up side?

Every time I think about Daniel, I start to tear up a little bit. If someone told me that I was never allowed to eat Red Velvet Cake ever again, my sadness would only amount to a fraction of what I feel when I think about being away from him.

So how's that a positive? Well, even when I get to spend extra days with him (because he's the best boyfriend ever and surprised me a day early) and cheat and even take some of the next morning, it's not enough. I can't get enough Daniel time. I'm selfish. But hey, it's better than welcoming the break from seeing him.

Although it may be incredibly sad every time he leaves (or even when I think about him leaving), it's sad in a very encouraging way. Lately all I've wanted to do is run away and spend the rest of forever with the kid (which probably means curling up and watching Sherlock every night while watching some sassy sistas get it handed to them by the cops if we're going to be honest). As long as I'm sad when Daniel leaves, I know it'll only make our next time together that much more precious and valuable.

And by the way things have been going lately, when we see each other in a week and a half it's going to be the single best day of my life. No joke. (And that covers so many dance shows, birthdays and even the first date we ever had which, well, see post #1 for that)

:(=))

PS. I tried so hard to get that little piggy to have a heart nose but it was weird. Something about (<=3: just doesn't look right.